Hey y’all!

This week has been a very rough one in the life of Jeanette Morelan. Coming back from a wonderful fall break was all sorts of crazy, with a lot going on and also a few storms that have been brewing in the soul. So if you’re a believer in the power of prayer {which I’m coming to appreciate more and more every day} I would love some, if you get the chance. :)


Today I want to write a little bit about a topic that I’m sure has been shared and discussed by young women everywhere. Especially as a young woman in college, there are thousands of voices concerning one topic: the person you should date.

Glossy magazines advertising “How to find YOUR perfect man!”

Popular sayings in Christian circles about how Jesus is your boyfriend {not exactly sure how that works…}

Blog posts advocating the idea that nobody will ever meet the perfect person, so start settling.

And trust me, I’ve listened to all of them. Not a very long time ago, I wrote a list of the things that I wanted in my “Prince Charming.” Non-negotiables were:

+Someone who loves God and is a leader in the faith

+Someone who is full of compassion and love for others and himself

+Someone who is ambitious and hardworking that will motivate me to reach my goals

+Someone that I will be able to sharpen and be sharpened by, like it says in Proverbs.

And of course, there were the desirables:

+Brown hair, blue eyes {what a winning combination}

+A musician

+A hopeless romantic

+A good cuddler {this might be bumped up to the necessary list}.

And so it goes. And for a long time, I was content with having my list, checking my standards, meeting guys and seeing if they fit in the “Yes, No, NEVER” bin, pulling them out and examining them, to see whether it was a good fit. But last night I was talking to a friend about this {he happened to be a guy} and he said, “Well, what is the guy who you want to date looking for in you?”

Wow. Talk about a paradigm shift.

Something that I failed to notice in these dozens of underlying messages of “finding the right person” was that, in an attempt to find ourselves someone we could love, we lost sight of the responsibility of working towards becoming someone worth loving. Now, I want to say that nobody is perfect, and that one of the best things about love is that it doesn’t stop when you mess up. But it got me to thinking…

Am I spending as much time becoming the person that I want to be loved by as I am searching for that person to love?

Am I setting standards for someone to enter into my world without creating standards for me to enter theirs?

Am I focused on the receiving aspect of love more than I am focused on the giving?

Screenshot 10:23:13 12:44 PM

Thinking about this more brought me to the first example I knew of love. I started to think, “What if God held us to the same standards to love someone that we hold others to?” To be honest, I would have been screened out during the first round. God loves me even when I’m unlovely, and each day I fail to understand why.

And I know He’s perfect and all, but when Christ was here, He wasn’t concerned about finding out who was good enough for Him to love—He was concerned about being the perfect sacrifice that would immortalize Love for them. He fasted for 40 days in the desert despite enormous temptation. He gave up the rights as King of Heaven to become slave to the world. He had the opportunity to destroy creation in His moments of torment, but endured. And for what? It was all for love. A love not focused on finding the perfect person to give it to, but becoming a person by which love could be perfected and manifested.

Now, I’m not saying that we should throw ourselves into the first relationship we see. I do think that standards are important, and that some people are more compatible with others. I don’t know if I believe in the whole idea of a soul-mate, and I’m not sure that my Prince Charming will fit my bill to a T, if I even have one. All that I’m saying is that in the meantime, while I am out there trying to figure out who he is through a series of probably awkward dates and good times and horrible breakups and what not, I want to be as focused on becoming someone worth that kind of love. I’m starting in Proverbs 31.


For years I’ve been praying for God to make my future husband big, strong, and good lookin’. Now I think it’s time to start praying that He will make me the kind of Love that can goes beyond “the list.” I know that regardless of how my relationships turn out, I will never have anything to apologize for if I become more like the One who first taught me what that four letter word means.

So ladies, gentlemen, whoever you are, can we just take a second and promise ourselves to search within ourselves to find Love as much as we search outside ourselves? Can we set as high a standard for ourselves as we do for the people we let into our lives?

I think that if we do, love will find us either way.




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